“Just because someone teaches me doesn’t mean I learn…”
How learning to ride a horse is a lot like learning to walk in God’s ways...
I helped her groom Buttercup and saddle her up, then watched her climb on, and turn with her toward the road, about to head out on a trail ride together.
I had been taking riding lessons for several months, and watched with longing. “Do you think I’ll ever be able to do that? Go out with Buttercup by myself on a trail ride??” I asked, having only been out on the sweet mare with my teacher holding the lead rope.
“Sure, if you keep working hard at learning how to ride,” she said.
Several months later, I seemed no further along in my learning! I was forgetting the same things, not remembering to use my body in the ways my teacher had been teaching me each week for months.
Just because she was teaching me did not mean I was learning!
We were both forced to ask: Did I really want to learn to ride a horse? Or did I just think I wanted to? Did I really want to learn to ride a horse? Or was I just saying I wanted to? Did I really want to learn to ride a horse? Or did I just like the idea of it, without really being committed to doing the hard work of learning how?...
I thought of this when I read the following verses from today’s psalm (Psalm 25:1-10): “Make your ways known to me, Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth--teach it to me--because you are the God who saves me. I put my hope in you all day long.” (Ps. 25:4-5) My immediate response upon reading those verses was something along the lines of, “Yes! I want to know your ways, God! Teach me! Teach me your paths, teach me your truth… Yes, I hope and trust in God! Yes, I want to learn God’s way and walk in God’s truth!”
But then, immediately after that, I recognized a more honest response: “Wait--do I really?...”
Do I really want to know God’s ways? Or do I just think I want to?
Do I really want to learn God’s paths? Or do I just say I want to?
Do I really want to be led in God’s truth? Or do I just like the idea of it, without really being committed to doing the hard work of learning how?
Because like learning to ride a horse, learning to walk in God’s ways is not easy. Forgiving those who have wronged me?? If I’m honest, I think I’d rather hold on to my hurt, resentment, and outrage, thank you very much…
Like learning to ride a horse, learning to follow God’s path takes hard work. Laying aside my own agenda for the sake of the oppressed and marginalized?? Well, okay, I can try to do that…when it’s convenient…
Like learning to ride a horse, learning to live in God’s truth takes serious commitment. And will likely interfere with my comfort and security and will quite possibly disrupt my well-thought-out plans for my day, not to mention my life…
Do I really want to know God’s ways? Or do I just think I want to?
Do I really want to learn God’s paths? Or do I just say I want to?
Do I really want to be led in God’s truth? Or do I just like the idea of it, without really being committed to doing the hard work of learning how?
What do I really want??
Hmmm…
I think learning happens at different times and in different ways. While we may be able to apply ourselves, at will (the night before the quiz) to learn effective solutions to a class of partial differential equations, perhaps our more important learning adventures (including horseback riding) may present themselves at times, in places and in ways that are not of our choosing.
Eccl: 3:1-2 “For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted...”
Despite my impatience, I’m slowly learning that many times God’s time... is the right time.
I was working with a Prayer of Confession just now, working with the phrases:
“O Holy God, we come in confession for our lack of love.
We have neither loved ourselves nor our neighbors.
While, without question, we are commanded to love, and forgive, our neighbors; loving and forgiving, ourselves, when we would “rather hold on to our hurt, resentment, and outrage”– may actually be the faithful thing to do.
... and it can be really hard!
Please keep writing the Substack series.